|At the Red Fort in Agra|
The other night I had a dream that I met a woman I knew in India. She asked why I hadn't come back yet (it's been almost three years). She said the groups that I worked with were disbanding for lack of leadership and that they needed someone to come and work with the women.
When I awoke, I wondered. Was the reason that I'm having such trouble getting a grip on the India book - because it's not ready to be written yet? Could it be that the journeys and experiences are not yet complete and therefore the story is not either?
Maybe. Or maybe I'm just really good at procrastinating. Also, in order to go again, I'll need some money. My husband suggested I get a job. Well, isn't the reason I left my former job, to be able to be home and write? How's that going for me?
Next week I'm going to set some office writing hours. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1-4pm will find me at a local coffee shop or the library. It's too easy to be distracted at home. This will probably be painful as I'll have to apply some butt glue and not let myself be distracted. For there's a part of me that doesn't want to do it. What if I do all this hard work and it fails? What if I'm really no good? Shouldn't I be doing something at home?
The other part of me, my other self - knows better. And that other me is strongly suggesting to get to it and take it one word at a time.