Knitting by Faith

It's up.

I have been wavering between being thrilled to see my book out there to bite-my-fingernails nervousness.  It looks so naked and defenseless all by itself, no longer cocooned in the safety of the files of my computer.  I hadn't realized how much of a roller coaster publishing a book was.  No wonder so many people never publish.

First, there is the dream stage even before the first draft takes shape.  At this stage, the story could go in many different directions and even has the slim possibility of meriting awards.  Don't tell me that you haven't ever dreamed of that.

Then, there is the first draft where you wonder why anyone would read this drivel.  But the dream of the book is still upon you and you knuckle down and finish it.  After all, it still has so many possibilities when you shape it for the next draft.

You take it out and read it and maybe find some redeeming qualities.  The bones are there, time to flesh it out and rearrange it.  The strength of muscle is added, then vital organs are placed in the right spaces, connected together through a network of thematic veins.  A little fat is added, though not too much and then finally, a layer of skin.

Everything seems a bit like hard work, and not the instantaneous product you hoped it would be.  The body looks a little awkward and so you poke and prod and add here, take away there until you think it looks like any other body out there.  It may not be a perfect body, but it's one you made all by yourself.

The body takes on life and follows you around a bit.  Sometimes you love it, sometimes you wonder what the heck you were thinking when you laid down the bones.  But it becomes its own person in the end and sulks a little at not getting to go out and play with friends in the bookshop.  It's time to cut the apron strings.

If you're like me, you tell people that you're ready to cut them, but not just yet.  Everyone knows that it's time, yet you wait.  Until you can no longer stand the weight of the child hanging to your side and you release it.

Once released, the child dances merrily away and you stand there watching, pride mingled with anxiety.  Will others want to play with your child?  But how could they not love it, as you have lovingly raised it and cared for it?  Nevertheless you have released this child into the world and it will never be the same as it was before.

It's time to move on and lay down the bones of a new child.

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You can fined the book at the link posted above, or by clicking on the picture of the book cover on the top right of the blog.