Progress or Regress?

Oh, to be back in Orkney again!

Sometimes I get frustrated at myself and my writing progress.  Okay, maybe not sometimes, but it's there often at the back of my mind.  Take this week, for example.  I decided to write a couple hours each afternoon except for Wednesday when I work at the yarn shop.  And I now have the grand total of...2 pages written.  Not only that, it's a new story.

Oddly enough the new story's protagonist, a 30ish year old woman with an absent husband, decided to go to Orkney because of a photo of sheep on green grass and the sea around them.  I debated about hopping back to the trio story but since Orkney is still fresh in my mind, it's now or never to see if this story has legs.

Ideally, I'd work on my Hearts in India book which relates more directly to Knitting by Faith.  If I was smart, I'd finish that up and publish it to continue the momentum of my writing.  But somehow, I find it hard to do what I need to do and instead do what I want to.  I'm not sure if this is lack of discipline, laziness, willfulness or simply my own unique creative process.  Perhaps if I make myself sit down for 2 hours a day and write then I will figure it out a little more.  Because sitting down to write for 2 hours a day isn't easy either.  It doesn't seem like a lot of time but the clock ticks slowly as I stare at my blinking cursor, wondering what I should make for dinner or if I should go coupon at my favorite store.

So I silently wonder, will I ever finish another?  Do I have what it takes to continue?  It's been over a year since I've left my job and I've only managed to published a 45 page book.  Good thing we aren't dependent on my income.

But I also need to remember to be gentle with myself at the same time I crack down too.  I have published once, I can do it again.  I am making slow forward progress, but I can do more.  I am capable and gifted with time to do this now.

Take the opportunity of now and don't have regrets later.